LAST ENTRY

Dinner with friends and a flight I am still waiting for.

Important Note!
Well this would be my last entry in this blog before I head to National Service. Don’t worry; I will continue to update my blog whenever opportunity presents itself.

But for the next 3 weeks or so, do not expect any updates as I will be in Palau Tekong undergoing my Basic Military Training.

Dinner with my Friends
Last night, I had dinner with my friends Latiff, Michelle and Qiu Qiang (QQ for short). We went to Changi Airport and had dinner at Swensen’s.

Well the idea of having this dinner was actually mine. What started of as a lunch outing at Holland village ultimately changed into a dinner at Changi Airport. It was Michelle’s idea of having a dinner there and boy was it great. The change of environment was a real welcome.

I decided to play a little joke on QQ. I told him to meet us at Jurong East MRT Station. The poor chap believed every word I said. At 5 pm I arrived at the station to find Latiff and Michelle already there. Michelle passed me a small gift. My first impression was that it looked like she had wrapped an apple pie for me. Although she wanted to tell me what the gift was, I rudely cut her because I didn’t want to spoil the excitement for myself.

I was touched that she not only made an effort to buy a gift for me but also took the time to wrap the gift. Well I am not going to tell you guys what she bought for me, but it’s something very meaningful. And because of this meaningfulness I am somehow am beginning to have sentimental attraction towards her little gift. So Michelle if you are reading this post. Thank you so much for the wonderful gift.

Well once QQ arrived, we took the long journey towards Changi Airport. QQ knew we were sick enough to play a joke on him and found out our plan towards the end of the trip. Being the good sport that he is, he didn’t make a fuss. While on the train, we joked around and laughed throughout the whole trip.

Once arriving at the airport we had our dinner at Swensen’s and we continued to joke around. Later we took the sky train to the other terminal to see the planes.

Birds of the Sky
I have been to the airport only once and it was more than 17 years ago. I remember seeing my grandmother off to India. I actually cried at that time. I wanted to fly in a plane so badly.

Somehow during that ordeal I had a feeling that I would have to wait for years before I get to fly. I do not know how, but I have had that memory lingering in my head for years. Maybe because the strong emotions I felt back then was the reason why I remembered that experience so vividly even to this day.

But as the fate would have it, I never got any opportunity to travel abroad. It’s kinda sad for me, because the only other county I have ever visited is Malaysia, Singapore’s next door neighbour.

Even today, the topic of my friends and relatives flying aboard to have a holiday overseas is something hard for me to sallow. It’s not that I am jealous of them; it’s the fact that I have to always tell myself that my time will also come. I have to say such things to myself to just to console myself.

Whenever I hear about their overseas experiences I just ask myself why am I not lucky enough to experience such things. Well I might sound a bit selfish, but when you see others regularly making overseas trips you too will tend to ask yourself the same questions. It pains me sometimes to know that I can’t afford a trip overseas because of my family financial situation.

Financial Mess
The financial mess that my family is suffering is because of my mother. All I can say is never judge a book by its cover. I love my mother dearly but I also hate her. She has done so many things that not a day goes by that my family isn’t feeling the effects of her actions.

As my readers just promise me that you will not comment nor talk to me about this matter. I have grown weary of this matter and do not wish to trouble anyone with my family problems.

I never like to be a burden to anyone, more so to my father, he has worked tirelessly for this family and I admire that. I went to great lengths just to ease his financial burden. Even in the polytechnic, I only asked him $2 a day for my daily expenses.

All the events that have transpired because of my mother’s actions has left a sour taste. It has made me aware of the importance of money from a young age. And every time I wanted to enjoy myself with my friends in secondary school, I opted not to. I simply couldn’t bring myself to it. I just couldn’t’ enjoy myself while knowing my dad was working tirelessly to feed his family.

Well I hope the future will be brighter, I have come to a point in my life, where I no longer am going to waste my time by asking myself why this is happening to me. I am not going to live a life full of regrets, it just too painful. I am simply going to keep looking forward and do what I deem is right.

Way back
After the sight seeing, we all took the bus back home. We made more jokes on the way back. I somehow I found myself being butt of their jokes. In all good nature, I never found it embarrassing and continued to play along. I am not even going to tell what they were saying about my so call Ganesanirian Empire.

Coincidental God
As I was typing this blog, I suddenly got an urge to peek outside the window of my room. I got up from the chair and went to the window. The first and foremost sight you will see through my window is the Hindu Temple. The Shiva – Krishna Temple. A temple dedicated to the unification of two gods in one body. Shiva, Lord of Dance and Destruction, and Krishna, the eighth avatar of Lord Vishnu. Vishnu is incidentally the lord of preservation.

As I stood there looking the temple, I asked myself the question I have asked so many times to myself, the reason for my existence. Although I know I will never get the answer to the haunting question, my heart will always seek that an answer.

I always had the problem that god knew everything and somehow he bestows a fate upon each of us. A kind of bondage that we as men were forever enslaved to and that none of us can ever break free from.

There is also a saying in Tamil that Brahma, the god of creation, writes the fate of every man on his head. And that man cannot do anything to escape his fate. There are enough incidents in my life to prove that fate does exist. But there is also doubt that what appears as fate is due to our lack of understanding of the human nature.

Like our forefathers what we do not understand we credit to as some godly phenomenon.

Well as all kinds of thoughts were running rampant through my head, I decided to return to my seat to continue to write my blog. As I approached the computer, I stood there. I suddenly realized that this was the exact same image I had in my dream earlier this week. It lays dormant until I saw the same image again. The most startling thing about it was the accuracy of what I saw.

The words on the screen of my computer matched the words of the image of my dreams. I just stood there shaking my head, asking the coincidental nature of this image. I have just witnessed an image of my future. Was this god’s way of showing his existence?

Well many of us have the feeling of déjà vu; it’s a natural phenomenon that happens to a lot of people. It just that science has no way of explaining this phenomenon and is always credited as being something supernatural. But know science has found an answer through the holographic model.

Miracles happen, not in opposition to Nature, but we do not know of nature. If you apply this contextual meaning to all phenomenons, you will start to doubt many false notions that we have come to embrace.

On A Final Note
Do enjoy yourselves when you visit my blog. And please feel free to comment on any topic you wish. I will be back soon and to all my well wishers, I thank you.

So till my next post ya, its bye from Ganz.

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