It’s About Fucking Time

The time is nearing. It’s almost done. Freedom waits. October 17 suddenly doesn’t seem so far away. A day of destiny or perhaps it’s just a day someone has to leave the army.

I have dreamt of this moment since the first day I entered the army. It was the only thing that has kept me going towards the finish line.

I never wanted to be an officer or sergeant or anybody in the army. I just want to get it over with. My heart cannot accept the devil's folly. I did what I had to do. Soon all this will be like a memory. A memory I want to forget but I never will.

In some point in time I will look back and reflect on the things I have done. It would be like a fantasy film. You know it’s all make belief and you try your best to immerse in its world wanting to believe it was all somehow real.

But somewhere in your head you know how it was put together and that stops you from enjoying the film.

I can see the truth and I can see past all the lies of this world. Is it my curse for it has to be? Or else I wouldn’t have chosen to live my life the way I am living it now.

I know I been lying to myself. I want to live the life I have dreamt of. Is it too much to ask? And who will be the judge of that.

Look around, people we whom we think are undeserving are better off than us. Everything I have done so far seems so wasteful and meaningless. Maybe I earned a good name among my peers but what use is a name? It doesn’t bring food to the table.

What am I to become in the years to come, I seriously do not know. In the past month so many things have happened that I am left in doubt.

I doubt my future but never in my ability. I know there is arrogance to my answer. I can’t help it. A part of me will never give in. I have given much of myself to see it all go to waste.

October 17, will be a day to remember nevertheless. It’s been the new beginning I have been waiting patiently all these years for.

Time for words is over. Actions need to take over. I know I have an objective and it’s about fucking time I go and get it.

Before my time expires.

So till my next post ya, its bye from Ganz.

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